As I approach my thirties, a question often crosses my mind: Am I truly an adult now? Entering this decade, widely seen as a threshold into maturity, evokes both excitement and anxiety.
In many respects, I feel firmly rooted in adulthood. Yet, there are moments when I still sense a childlike part of me lingering.
Recently, during a catch-up with a friend from high school, our conversation took an intriguing turn. Despite the divergent paths our lives have taken, we had maintained our friendship for over a decade, meeting every couple of months. As he discussed the prospect of settling down and investing in property—topics typically associated with adulthood—I found myself amused. It was a moment of realisation: my friend was no longer the teenager I had once known him to be.
This realisation prompted me to reflect on my own journey. I, too, have undergone change. While this may seem obvious, it’s rare that we truly internalise and comprehend the change. It dawned on me that we both now stand as adults, shaped by the passage of time and the accumulation of our own life experiences.
This reminds me of a scene in the movie ‘The Lunchbox’, where Irrfan Khan’s character experiences a moment of introspection triggered by a familiar scent in his bathroom, reminiscent of his grandfather’s. However, he realises that the scent is his own, prompting a profound awareness: he is the age he remembers his grandfather being.
From this, I concluded that adulthood often sneaks up on us, shaped by life’s circumstances, whether we’re fully aware of it or not.
Hence, it becomes important to understand several guidelines to navigating the terrain of adulthood, facilitating a more purposeful and fulfilling journey.
Many of us fall into this trap, particularly fueled by social media. Witnessing others land better jobs, marry, settle down or relocate abroad can trigger doubts about our own choices.
Each individual follows their own unique path, shaped by their personal aspirations, circumstances and choices. Embracing our instincts and trusting in our abilities and instincts ensures that we remain authentic, directing us towards paths aligned with our true selves.
Simultaneously, the benefit of solitude in our life cannot be overstated. Being alone can help us introspect and learn more about ourselves. Self-reflection is an essential tool in clarifying our aspirations, insecurities and strength. Even though it is quite usual for us to seek company, solitude can allow for independence. This leads us to feel more autonomous and empowered. It is said that enjoying being alone is a power not many have. Being alone can truly be a gift.
We might have also started to notice people moving away from our lives. The closeness we used to have with our loved ones might not remain the same. In fact, I have noticed that it is actually very common to grow apart from people. As much as it can be painful and disappointing, we come to a realisation that the people who are meant to stay will remain. It’s not always easy to hold onto relationships and friendships, It’s okay to let go, and focus on reaching our full potential.
Furthermore, cultivating independence is also another essential aspect of becoming an adult. Taking ownership of our choices and actions fosters accountability and self-reliance. Striving towards financial independence is always a good place to start. With that, we feel empowered to handle life’s complexities with full agency and confidence—we do not have to rely on anyone. We are able to face and take responsibility for our outcomes, be it favourable or unfavourable.
Additionally, coming to terms with uncertainty is integral to navigating adulthood. I used to hesitate taking risks for fear of failure. I would feel very conscious, and prefer staying in my comfort zone. But another big realisation came when I decided to change my relationship with failure. Failure, rejection and hardship are inevitable and each one of us has been through it. It has guided us to become the people we are right now.
It is important to remind ourselves that difficulties and challenges can actually be blessings in disguise. Throughout the various adversities we face, we often find resilience, courage and perseverance within us to get through and overcome them. These experiences often help us become more proficient in navigating more difficult situations in the future.
Another crucial aspect to consider is the cultivation of positive habits. Even seemingly simple routines such as brushing twice a day or daily walks can play a significant role in integrating these habits into our lives seamlessly. Over time, these habits stop requiring conscious effort and become ingrained in our daily routines. This, undoubtedly, establishes a solid foundation for ongoing growth and self-improvement.
Adulthood is a multifaceted journey. As we navigate through this, we need to learn to embrace our unique paths, cultivate resilience in the face of adversity and nurture positive habits that guide us towards our aspirations. By moving forward with intentionality and willingness to embrace change, we can embark on a fulfilling journey, guided by the wisdom gained from our own experience and the courage to chart our own course.
English (US) ·